9 kinds of deal-breakers you’ll find on M4M Tinder

Alt title: the comedy and tragedy of gay online dating

In the gay male dating world, Tinder is the most vanilla of the online apps. It doesn’t allow sending pictures back and forth, and many profiles are connected to Facebook and Instagram accounts. It feels friendlier than Grindr or Scruff, which tend to have a sex-first, transactional feel. It’s like walking into a gay sportsbar rather than a bathhouse.

I’m 32, single, and consider myself somewhat old-fashioned, so I tend to prefer Tinder because it feels as close to a real connection as one can get online. It’s conversation first, body ogling and dirty talk second (if ever). And, the UX design means you only get messages from people you’ve also expressed an interest in. At least, while rapid fire swiping in the morning on the train, waiting at a doctor’s appointment, or drunk in bed.

I’ve been on Tinder for years now, across continents and in different stages of my life. Only recently has it become more interesting, because I’m in a city full of gay men (San Francisco) who are attractive, intellectual, ambitious, and looking for their own special DINK status.

Having matched with over 1,000 guys (since whenever I joined), I’ve identified some profile archetypes that are deal-breakers to me.